Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Randomize
