You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
