1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
