I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Randomize