he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
