He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
