How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
