How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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