so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Randomize
