that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
