if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
