Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Randomize
