Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
