If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I wish you could order shots online.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
