you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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