No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i just made my gag reflex go away.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
