have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
