don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
