also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
