Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Randomize
