2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I am naked and annoyed.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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