so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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