with your own penis?
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Randomize
