I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
