I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize