Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
