WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
My vagina is officially offended.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
