honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
