I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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