there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
