and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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