brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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