The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize