My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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