pedialite and red bull = repair kit
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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