i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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