That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
