i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
