I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
