Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
