I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
This is my gift to your gina
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
