I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
