I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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