That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize