How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
