Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
