So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
