You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
