Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
