So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
