Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
