I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
