you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
they need to just BURY HIM!
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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