She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
