I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
