Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
