He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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