somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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